


hold me til the dark goes away

by homewirk



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Autistic Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Connor (Detroit: Become Human) Has PTSD, Connor (Detroit: Become Human) Has Panic Attacks, Connor (Detroit: Become Human) is Bad at Feelings, Connor Deserves Happiness, Connor Needs A Hug, Crying Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Deviant Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Father-Son Relationship, Fluff, Guilt, Hank Anderson Adopts Connor, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Bad At Titles, M/M, My First AO3 Post, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Poor Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sorry Not Sorry, Sorry if it’s bad, Swearing, and he gets them, because I said so, because hank, sorry if I don’t portray the characters well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-16 11:54:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21507523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/homewirk/pseuds/homewirk
Summary: Connor is sent to negotiate a hostage situation.It was too familiar.
Relationships: Connor & Hank Anderson, Connor & Josh & Markus & North & Simon (Detroit: Become Human), Connor & Sumo (Detroit: Become Human), Connor/Markus (Detroit: Become Human), Josh & Markus (Detroit: Become Human), Markus & North (Detroit: Become Human), Markus & Simon (Detroit: Become Human), Markus & Sumo (Detroit: Become Human)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 254





	1. Overworked

It had been a hard week.

Connor had been busy with work, too many cases, no time to go see Markus.

One case in particular had left Connor emotionally drained.

——

Markus missed Connor.

He understood the amount of cases he’d been assigned, his return to the DPD only recent.

With the revolution, things had become “chaotic as fuck”, according to Hank.

But, with the week over, Connor had finally been given a day off.

Markus would see Connor tomorrow, or so he thought.

He sat in his office, Simon, North and Josh joining him in a moment of relaxation, before they headed off for the night.

They were all happily bantering, North and Josh arguing as usual, when they was a yell from down the hall.

Then a loud thump, before what sounded like footsteps.

A message appeared in Markus’ HUD.

Lieutenant H. Anderson: is Connor with you?

What? Markus thought, but before he could reply, the door burst open to reveal Connor himself.

“Connor, what-?” Markus questioned, before being interrupted.

“I killed them.”

North, Simon, Josh and Markus all shared a look, one of confusion and concern.

“Killed who?” Markus asked, no one else was willing to speak.

Connor looked like a wreck, his hair was sprawled in different directions, the usual soft curls turned stiff and straight, he had dark circles under his eyes, a sign he hadn’t been into stasis for a long time and he looked pale, his eyes had a strange blue tint to them.

“Jericho. I killed them all, didn’t I?” Connor rasped, his face taught with fear and frustration.

“They’re dead because of me,” Markus looked on with concern as Connor stepped further into the room, pulled at the tie around his neck, before gripped at his hair.

“Connor, no-“

Connor whipped his head around so fast it made Markus feel dizzy.

Michael, one of New Jericho’s guards, came running into the room, his voice urgent.

“Markus! I’m sorry, I tried to stop him.” He made to grab Connor’s shoulder, but Connor let out a yelp and leapt backwards, almost colliding with Markus.

Michael made a grab for Connor again, but Markus reacted quickly this time, grabbing Michael’s wrist before he could reach Connor.

“Connors welcome here,” Markus spoke firmly.

Michael looked around nervously at the other androids in the room and nodded, before retrieving his hand from Markus’ oddly strong grasp and left the room.

It was then that Markus noticed how much a Connor was shaking, his legs trembling underneath him, he looked ready to collapse.

“Connor, I’m going to touch you, is that okay?” Connor silently turned around to face Markus, before looking down at his feet, and nodded.

Markus carefully placed two hands on Connor’s shoulders and steered him towards his office chair.

Markus then turned to his friends, who remained sitting awkwardly on the couch, watching the whole ordeal.

“I’m going to talk to him and see if Hank can come in, I’ll call if anything comes up.” He informed them, they all nodded and began to leave the room.

Once they were gone, the Deviant Leader turned back around and turned his attention back to the distressed android sitting in his office chair, quickly shooting Hank a message to inform him that Connor was safe and that he could come by and take him home.

He knelt down to in front of Connor, so he could make eye contact.

Connor looked so frightened, it was unlike him, he was always stoic and professional, he’d often been accused of not feeling anything at all, it only just occurred to Markus how much that must have affected him.

“Con, what happened?” It was all he could think to say, he knew Connor wouldn’t want to talk about it, but it was worth a try.

As expected, Connor refused, silently shaking his head.

Markus slowly placed a hand on Connor’s knee, rubbing up and down his leg to give him at least a bit of comfort.

He did that until Hank arrived.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Connor!” The Lieutenant exclaimed, when he entered the office.

Connor kept his head bowed, finally making eye contact with Markus, before looking back to his feet.

“Do you understand how worried I’ve been?”

Connor’s eyes shon with up unshed tears. Markus felt his heart break a little bit.

“I searched across half the fuckin’ city lookin’ for ya!”

“Lieutenant-“

Hank wasn’t angry, Markus could tell, he was just frustrated. He understood, Connor was never open with his emotions, never honest with how he was feeling. He tended to bottle up his emotions and it seemed he was started to spill over.

“No! Don’t you ‘Lieutenant’ me, you could have at least answered me calls-!”

“Hank, please.” 

Hank stopped, and Markus stared.

“I’m sorry, just... please.” He spoke just above a whisper, only just audible to both Hank and Markus.

Hank looked guilty, he sighed and didn’t say anything else.

He took a seat at the couch and ran a hand through his hair.

Connor let out a heartbreaking sob, hands making their way to his hair and began to pull.

Markus tried to pull Connor’s hands away from his hair, but he wouldn’t let go.

“Connor, you’re going to hurt yourself,” he tried, Connor sobbed harder, his body wracking.

Markus kept his hands on Connor’s, but he wouldn’t let go, thirium began to run down Connor’s face, mixing with his tears.

“Connor, everythings going to be okay, I promise.” Markus tried again, to no avail.

He ran a scan and discovered Connor’s stress levels were at a dangerous 80%.

“Hank, we need to get him home.”

Hank was immediately on his feet and helping Connor out of the office chair.

Markus knew Connor felt uneasy in New Jericho, his reputation among the original Jericho wasn’t strong and as much as Markus tried to tell Connor it wasn’t his fault, he wouldn’t believe him.

They helped Connor out of New Jericho, unfortunately unable to avoid the stares of other androids, and helped Connor into the backseat of the Oldsmobile.

Markus sat next to him while Hank got in the driver’s seat.

The drive was quiet, Hank kept the radio off and focused on the road.

Markus had managed to get Connor to stop pulling at his hair and was now holding Connor to his chest, hand raking through his disheveled hair.

“Markus, I’m scared,” Connor finally spoke, his voice small.

Markus kissed his forehead, “it’s okay, we’re almost home.”

Connor’s tears hadn’t subsided, but his sobs had.

They soon arrived at Hank’s house and Markus helped Connor out of the car and onto the porch.

Connor’s legs trembled so vigorously, Markus almost carried him to the door.

Hank unlocked the door and they all trudged inside.

Sumo greeted them happily, Markus and Connor both gave him pats.

Hank threw his keys and phone on the table before turning around to face the two androids.

“Alright, Con,” he started, Connor looked up, anxiously.

“Let’s get you to bed, it’s been a long day.”

Connor seemed to deflate, opening his mouth to protest, but Hank shushed him.

“I know you don’t want to, but you can’t going like this.”

Connor didn’t bother arguing, only muttered a soft “okay, Hank.”

Connor grabbed Markus’ hand, almost startling Markus.

Connor had always been hesitant initiating a hug, or holding hands, Markus felt a tinge of pride on how far Connors come since the start of their relationship, almost two months ago.

They followed Hank down the hall and into a bedroom down the end, Cole’s old bedroom, that had been cleared out and renamed as Connor’s.

It was heartwarming, knowing that Connor had such a safe place to stay, a place to call home.

The room wasn’t huge, but it was big enough.

There weren’t a lot of decorations, but that seemed to be how Connor liked it. There was a double bed, tucked in the corner of the room, a fish tank on the wall facing the bed, a closet and a small bookshelf.

Hank gave Connor a pat on the shoulder and headed out of the room.

“You get changed into something comfortable,” he said, softly “I’ll get a cloth for your head.”

Markus lead Connor over to the double bed and sat him down, then headed over to the closet and grabbed an oversized white t-shirt and some black sweatpants.

Markus helped Connor unbutton his dress shirt and take off his shoes, before pulling on the oversized t-shirt and sweatpants.

Connor laid down on the double bed and Markus pulled the covers him.

Connor grabbed Markus’ hand again.

Markus smiled.

Hank soon came back with a warm wash cloth and began wiping Connor’s forehead.

“Markus, there’s some thirium in the cupboard, in the kitchen, would you mind grabbing a bottle?” Hank asked, voice soft for Connor’s sake.

Markus nodded and headed out of the bedroom.

He knew Connor needed thirium, but he also knew Hank needed to talk to Connor alone, Markus understood and gave them some space.

When he returned, he noticed Hank was smiling and Connor seemed to have relaxed a bit more.

Markus handed Connor the bottle of thirium and placed it on the bedside table when he finished.

Connor’s face was now clean and his thirium levels replenished.

Hank stood up and let out a sigh.

“Alright, I’m heading to bed, get some sleep, Con.” Hank gave Connor’s shoulder a squeeze before heading out of the bedroom.

He stopped just before he closed the door, “you’re welcome to stay the night, Markus.”

And left.

When Markus turned around he noticed Connor had tucked himself into the corner of the bed.

“I should go Connor.”

Connor’s eyes widened and he sat up.

“Markus, please stay!”

Markus froze, he looked so scared, his brown eyes still holding so many unshed tears, his whole body trembling.

“Please stay.” He looked ashamed to say those words, he thought he was being selfish.

Markus smiled and laid down on the bed next to Connor, kicking his shoes off.

Connor looked surprised, before he smiled and laid down with Markus, snuggling up to Markus’ chest.

“Goodnight Markus.”

“Goodnight, Connor.”


	2. My heart hurts

when Connor was finally asleep, Markus lay down next to him.

his hands brushed through his lover's hair and for a moment, he felt at ease.

he knew that in the morning, he'd have to have a long talk with Connor, but for now, he just wanted to enjoy this moment of peace.

even after a distressing day, Connor looked so at peaceful sleeping.

Markus knew he wouldn't be getting alot of sleep tonight.

—

androids didn't dream, they replayed memories.

though, they can grow to become exaggerated, sporadic and unrealistic.

they can become terrifying.

—

The air was thick and cold.

Connor made his way to the roof of an old, abandoned house.

It’s insides were coiled and shattered with its old age, despite its expansive size.

What had happened to the owners, to leave such a luxurious life.

Connor’s anxious and wondering mind didn’t show, he strode confidently to the top floor, SWAT making way for him.

“Negotiator on sight.”

It was all too familiar.

—

Markus lay next to Connor, he was dozing.

His eyes drifted closed, his hand still tangled in Connor’s curly locks.

He fell further into his doze, he was on the brink of falling asleep when Connor let out a soft whimper.

Barely audible.

Markus’ eyes snapped open, and his gaze drifted down to Connor’s face.

He was frowning.

Markus brushed a strand of hair out of his face and lay back down, his eyes still on Connor’s face.

—

The wind was cold, snowflakes felt like they were burning into his hands.

The android was standing on the edge of the roof, the child model held above the ground, only held by the older androids hand.

He began his negotiation.

—

Connor woke with a start.

He looked around the dark room, his eyes wide and panicked.

Where was he?

The realisation of what had just happened crashed down on him and in moments he broke.

He hated how easily he cried, he never let anyone see him so vulnerable, until now.

He felt arms on his shoulders, for a moment he stiffened, before the soft voice of his boyfriend.

His shoulders sagged and he leaned into the touch.

He didn’t care anymore, he just wanted to forget.

Forget everything that happened and live happily with Markus, Hank and Sumo.

“What happened, Connor?”

Connor whimpered, he tried not to let his tears fall, but it was proving difficult.

“I killed her.”

Markus curled his arms around Connor’s waist and pulled him closer.

“I tried,” Connor’s voice cracked.”I tried to save her, b-but Ren wouldn’t let her go!”

Markus had no idea what he was talking about.

“Connor, who’s Ren?”

Connor let out another whimper and turned to his side to lean further into Markus’ chest.

“The android, she- she was holding a YK500 hostage.”

Markus began to understand, and began to fear what had become of the two androids.

“Connor,” he swallowed, nervous.”What... what happened to the YK500?”

Connor let out a choked sob, covering his face with his hands.

“Ren, she- she wouldn’t listen!” Connor cried, Markus rested his hand on his box of his head.

“She- she killed herself, she fell and the YK500, her name was Jane.”

“She took Kane with her and-and she screamed.”

Connor fell apart after that, his body shook with uncontrollable sobs.

Markus held him close and quietly reassured him.

“It’s not your fault, Con.”

“How?! I failed and they payed for it!” Connor choked on his tears.

“Ren was too unstable to be reasoned with, there was nothing you could’ve done to save her.”

They stayed like that for a while, Connor’s tears slowed and he stopped shaking.

Then Connor said something Markus didn’t think he’d ever hear him say.

“Markus I,” he hesitated.”I don’t want to work at the DPD.”

Markus almost smiled, he was glad to see that Connor was making his own decisions, though he wished it was more of a positive experience.

“Okay,” he replied.”Just give it couple of days.”

—

The next few days had been rough, dealing with traumatic events doesn’t simply disappear in a day.

Connor voiced his decision to Hank, who was, of course, supportive.

As Connor sat on the couch with Hank, Markus and Sumo he realised something for the first time in his deviancy.

He was going to be okay.

End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to get out! I think I’m going to stick with oneshots until I can become more consistent, but I hope this was okay! Thank you all for the support you’ve given this fic, I’d like to rewrite this sometime, the plot has a lot of holes in it, but this is my first finished fic for d:bh and first uploaded. Thank you all for reading and I’m working on a bit of a fic atm, and I’m planning on posting more!
> 
> Tumblr: ratcatsworld  
> (Where I post my updates for fics)


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